Aunt Hilda Goldstein is Shane’s aunt. She seems to be homophobic, because she frequently bugs Shane about being gay, and during her career as a suicide hotline operater, she told a gay emo to go ahead and kill himself.
There is some confusion as to what her age is. In Ke$ha Blah Blah Blah Spoof S-Deezy says that she is 60 years old. In School Dance Disaster, she tells shane she is 65 years old. She often bugs Shane about being gay, similar to Shane’s mom. Her last name is Goldstein, as revealed in School Dance Disaster!. She has a husband named Bob Goldstein, who was “killed in a machete fight outside of a 7/11 by three angry mohicans”. Hilda then had Bob stuffed so that she could treasure him after death, which freaked Shanaynay out. She has created a cooking show in which her and Bob create “Their favorite meals”. . She has had several jobs, including being a suicide hotline operater, working at a pizza shack to gat away from Shane, and is a teacher at Shane‘s school. She seems to love cooking, but so far has only made “Weed(Marjuana) Brownies” on the show. In the upcoming series, Shane and Friends, she will have her own cooking show. She is very strict with Shane, as she refuses to allow him out of the house when he claims to have recovered from sickness. She reveals in School Dance Disaster! that she grew up without a dad, because her mother cut him up and threw him in a woodchipper when she was 5. She also hates Bisexuals, saying that “This isn’t the home town Buffet, you can’t have a taco and a hot dog, just pick one. I prefer hot dogs. I like the way they slide down my throat.”. She likes to call people honey, and in some cases, gives people some odd nicknames, referring to Shanaynay as Bonequiqui in Blow up doll for dinner?. Aunt Hilda seems to be Mrs. Dawson’s sister, as she was present with the rest of Shane‘s immediate family during Blow up doll for dinner?, however it has never officially been confirmed. Shane, as well as his mother and brother, seem to live in Aunt Hilda’s house. During Blow up doll for dinner?, she tells Shanaynay “Listen Bonequiqui, or whatever the fuck your name is. If you don’t respect me in my house, I’ll reach over there, grab that wig off your head, put it in my magic bowl smoothie maker, grind it up, and sprinkle it on the dogshit in the backyard. Would you like that?”. Since Hilda refers to Shane‘s home as her house, it can be inferred that Shane‘s family live in her house. However, Shane could’ve had everyone meet in Bob and Hilda’s house, or Hilda simply meant that it was her home, as well as the rest of the Dawsons but not that she necessarily owns it. Hilda also believes that Shane has no chance with women. This is evidenced during her Christmas tour when she says that Muffins(Shane‘s cat) is the only pussy that’ll ever be on Shane‘s couch, and in Blow up doll for dinner?, she seems to be in disbelief that Shane had a girlfriend (Though this is partially because she thought he had a boyfriend). Though she usually intends not to, she often alludes that people should commit suicide. As a suicide hotline operater, she tells an emo homosexual that he should just kill himself because of the lack of gay rights. She also says that she misunderstood the point of that job. She also directly tells Mark(Rapper kid in Shane‘s english class of which Hilda is the teacher) that “If you honestly believe that you’re going to be a rapper, you should get up, walk over to that window, jump out, crack your skull on the cement, and end your life.”. However, she states that she only said that because it was funny. She also seems to enjoy drinking. In School dance disaster!, she says “Sorry I’m late class. The popo pulled me over for driving under the influence, which is bullshit.”, and then proceeds to place a half drank bottle of beer on her desk. She also drinks enough alcohol during Ke$ha Blah Blah Blah Spoof to vomit, and so that she couldn’t stand up. During Last Friday Night *Katy Perry Spoof*, Aunt Hilda reveals that she has had several past engagements, and is currently engaged to an unnamed mexican man. She has also been drinking again, and she also reveals that she has “A piercing on my twat”. Aunt Hilda also feels like she is still cool, despite being 60 years old (This is the age she is given during that particular episode). In Who’s The Killer Interactive Game- Shane its revealed that she and Mrs. Dawson wanted to take over Shane‘s youtube channel by killing him but Shane got two guns that were hidden in his hair and shot them both. Hilda wears a red and yellow checkered sweater, has red hair and glasses, and a weird smile. The red hair may be of further evidence that she is related to Mrs. Dawson.
In the newly announced subseries “Shane and Friends”, Aunt Hilda will be given a small slot in which she will host a cooking show, cementing her interest in cooking once and for all.
She has thus far appeared in 13 episodes, and 2 music videos:
- Ke$ha Blah Blah Blah Spoof
- School Dance Disaster!
- High School Drama!!
- Blow up doll for dinner?
- Aunt Hilda’s christmas tour
- Congrats! Your Bisexual! Send to friend vid
- Ke$ha is a dirty girl
- The talking twinkie!?!
- Last Friday Night *Katy Perry Spoof*
- Crazy emo family
- Make your ulgy friend hot?
- A Lady Gaga Halloween
- A Shane Dawson Love Story
- Who’s The Killer Interactive Game- Shane
Shane Dawson Fan Site 